Cliques.

I remember when I was in highschool, all the different cliques. The popular, the jocks, the nerds, the goths, and whatever else people decided to come up with. I remember which clique i was in like it was yesterday. I was a nerd. Always being made fun of cause i was skinny and smart. I remember Senior year being so excited that it was my last year. My last year or torment and not wanting to go to school.

I think it's funny. almost 5 years out of highschool. I still feel like i'm in it. I hate it. And its not that im a nerd or whatever now. Its just with people hanging out with certain people leaving out certain people. I think its absurd. I thought we all grew up. It's sickening. Grow up.

I'm Thankful For....

What am I thankful for?

I'm thankful for my husband, who does anything and almost everything for me,

Who fights for our country with such pride, who is my best friend, MY HERO,

my rock, my confidant, and so many more!!

who is the most amazing father in the entire world.

who i love so much it's unreal.

Also, Landon the sweetest most precious gift I've ever received!

He is the most amazing thing I've ever been blessed with!

I love you sweet angel of mine!

My family, what an amazing family I've got!

BEST support system in the entire world.

I couldn't be such a strong military wife and support my husband 100% without the support from you guys!!

You guys are my rock when he's gone.

Make me smile while he's away.

You guys are truely amazing!!!

I love you guys!

To my friends, you know who you are!

I wouldn't be able to survive the deployments without you guys.

Your my family away from home!
Thanks for everything.

I'm very thankful that i get to stay home with my son everyday!

I'm thankful for my life.

I love it :D

Deja Vu- Your Dead To Me!

It feels like I've been here before, writing about the same person and the same exact problem. I sometimes wish things could go back to normal. Back to how it was before she met him. The girl I loved, and considered my best friend in the entire world. Now we hate eachother. Well more of she hates me. And I've told her that she's dead to me, Landon, & Jake. It's sad when I think about it coming to this. I remember sitting on my driveway with my sweet and innocent cousin who adored me and wanted nothing but to hang out with me and be a part of my life. Now she hates my life. Thinks I regret having Landon and told me I would never love him completely because I got married to young. Well More or less said I RUSHED into getting married I RUSHED into having a baby. And now my life sucks and I will sooner or later hate my life. I don't believe anyone of it. I find it amusing how someone who is only 17 years old, could possibly know what my life is like, and how I feel. Considering we hadn't talked in almost a year up until a few weeks ago. Last year when I was in labor she told me I deserved whatever was to happen to me and to my son. But yes, me I forgave her once again! But this time she's said enough. Talked badly about me, my husband my dad, my mom, my wonderful grandparents. What an ungrateful bitch. I hope 10 years from now she realizes what a huge mistake she made by doing this to me and my family. But by then it will be too late to mend anything between her and I. Like I said she's dead to me. I don't have a cousin anymore, and I don't have a little sister anymore it hurts, but I can't keep getting hurt. This is the best for Landon, Jake, and myself. And those are the people I really have to always protect. You can fuck with me. But you better not think you can fuck with my family. Fuck with them you better know you're gonna fuck with me. Enough said. I'm at peace with my life now!!!

My Heroes.

Happy Veteran's day to all of those who have served and who are currently serving. I take so much pride in being a military wife it is unreal. I guess it's kind of sad, because before I married Jake and became a military wife, I didn't really understand what these amazing people go through on a day to day basis. And I guess I fully didn't respect them the way I should have. I think this occurs often because when we look at the military men and women we see WAR. But WAR is not what we stand for. We stand for protecting the country we love and cherish, even if it mean having to do something that we don't fully agree with. These men & women deal with so many different daily struggles it's unreal. For one they leave their home, their familes, miss out on the births of their kids,nieces, nephews brothers or sisters, they go into this thing we want to call a WAR fight all day and maybe sometimes all night, come home either wounded, having post traumatic stress disorder, or even worse, they come home in a coffen with a flag on top. The scarafices they make daily not only for me but for our country is something to admire. Not to frown upon. If more people respected this people we'd be a better country. For example, last deployment when Jake was in Cuba, I heard about this lady, COMPLETELY DISGUSTING, I might add, who would go to fallen soldiers' funerals with a bunch of people in her church (yes she called it a church) and would boycott them cause they were for war, supported gays, and god only knows what else. Seriously who on Earth does that kind of thing! SICK. People like that I don't even wanna say what should happen to them, or better yet hmmm. In other words, all those who actually read this, I'm so proud to be a military wife. I'm so proud of the work my husband does. So proud to support all those men & women out there risking their lifes each and everday for my protection. You guys are truely HEROES and you guys deserve only the best from everyone in this country. If it wasn't for your bravery and strength who knows where'd we be as a whole. I love you all!

He's So Smart!

It's amazing to watch a child who basically mirrors you! Become so smart. With things that I haven't showed him, things Jake hasn't shown him! Just from him observing what Jake & I do daily. Today I was giving him a walk in his brand new car that I push, I gave him the mail keys to hold so he could have some fun!! Next thing I know I look down and my lil man is trying to stick the keys into a sticker with a picture of the ignition on it!! Now tell me how smart is that? Then I was looking for him, and he's trying to plug cords into our Wii!!! I can't believe it, its the most amazing thing I have ever gotten to experience. (Besides the birth of him) So many other things, like knowing how to turn on and off the radio, and what buttons to press to make the music come on, and how to turn the knob to make it louder! It's insane! He turns the Direct TV off and on, and turns and laughs at me!!! Thinking it's the funniest thing he's ever seen!! Little booger!! And he tries to plug my computer charger into my computer!! He puts things in the dishwasher for me, and closes the lid. Yeah I know that these things are soo small. But to him they are the world. And to me, it's completely breath taking. To be able to watch my son who is 1 yr old now, do all these amazing things, and watch him grow is just astonishing! I know there is more to come...and I CAN'T WAIT!! It's such an amazing experience. And I can't wait to experience it all over again!!

A Day From Hell

Well today was quite interesting. After all the stress, I get to my dr appt, come to find out I have high blood pressure. They we're kinda worried about it. Which makes me worry. Especially when Jake's gone. I hate it!! Two weeks from now i go back to the Dr's to take a pregnancy test. I'm not pregnant that I know of. But in 2 weeks i'll know for sure. I don't think I am. But anyways. I know now who my friends truely are. Who will come to my rescue when it matters the most. And who no matter whats going will do anything to help me out even if they aren't able to at that exact moment. Things like this make me miss Jake. I hate it when he's gone cause I know I ALWAYS can depend on him. No matter what. He's always there. Even when he's gone. He does everything in his power to come to my rescue. And I fall more and more in love with him! Although he is gone right now. And i guess this is when it pours right???!

Hopefully tomorrow is a little better and I pray my blood pressure goes down.

Landon Tyler

So this time last year i was in the hospital in labor with Landon. I went into labor on Oct 30th. Was emitted to the Labor and Delivery on Oct 31st. Yeah I spent Halloween in the hospital! So on Halloween while i was getting my lil munchkin ready for his first halloween. I sat back and couldn't believe this time last year i thought i was gonna have him to hold in my arms, and this year i do. But i'm sitting here today, and thinking about what i was doing this time last year. Tomorrow i'm getting tested to see if i have preclamsia, and friday sure enough i have preclamsia and at 9:03pm i had the lil guy. I was going through his clothes and found these preemie outfits and almost died when i saw how small he was. And now how big he is and all the AMAZING things he is doing. time flies. And i try to not take anything for granted and appreciate everything that is thrown my way!! And I still to this day can not believe my lil boy is 2 days shy of being ONE YEARS OLD! he's growing up way to fast i hate it!