I miss him....

today is one of those days i guess.where everything was going wrong. i was frustrated. and i wished that he was here. because hes the only one whocan calm me down. yeah sure a call is amazing. but its nothing like having him here with me. hes been gone for 2 months now. i wish he was gone for longer. but i guess now it finally hit me that he is gone. hes not here. that hes in guam. that ive been going to bed alone for the past two months! its finally hit me. And IM MISSING HIM MORE THAN I HAVE EVER.

i just want him to come home.

Harry Potter has been replaced!!!

So i have started to read the Twilight series. And i'm really getting into it. I've only gotten to chapter 3 on twilight. But i love it. when i read it i just picture the people who have played the characters in the book and just imagine all of this stuff happening in my head its so much fun! But it is hard to read it as often as i would like cause i have a full time mom lol. so whenver i get a chance i take it!! even if i only get to read a paragraph.

On a good note, we're two months into this deployment. like amber was saying earlier if it was a 6 month deployment we'd only have 4 months left. but unfortunetly we have a 7 month deployment which leaves us with 5 more months to go.

I do believe that this deployment has been easier and gone by way faster than the last. My reasoning for this is because i have a baby this deployment to occupy my time with every single day. Also i'm not having to keep my family together while they fall apart due to a HUGE lost in the family. SO i think i'm not going threw so many emotional stress!!

Landon has made it gone by so fast. and its amazing. We will be going to cancun in roughly 2 months. On april 26th. And jake will be coming out sometime in May! Which i'm totally stoked for. Itll be half way threw so i guess it gives us all something to look forward too. But im most excited cause hell get to see his precious baby boy. IM SO EXCITED!!

Anyhoo im off to read my book till my lover comes on.

2 months down!! And we're still going strong and kicking this deployments ASS!!!!

Why are deployments SO hard?

I'm so ready for this deployment to be over with. i know that were almost two months into it. but as the time goes by the harder it gets. i cant wait till the countdown begins are were actually having something good to look forwatrd to. instead of known we still have five months left to go. why did we get stuck with the 7 month deployment? why cant we get the 6 month? its hard enoughas it is. and to add that extra month into it, not to mention the DP factor maybe come into play. ugh i just want this to be over with i want jake to not be sooo stressed out he doesnt even wanna talk to me. and everything i do or say makes his day that much worse or harder. i miss my hubby smiling and being happy when he saw me on webcam.

im thinking about planning a small wedding when he gets home from deployment. something cheap n simple. i kinda wanna wait till landon can walk so he can be the ring barrer and i need to find a lil girl to be our flower girl. But i have 4 ppl i want to be my bridesmaid and ive asked them well ive ask like 3 of them. i think 4 wud be nice. i have to figure out the colors, i'm think red and white like our original wedding. maybe on a beach, if thats even possible. or i deno. well anyways.....i want to do it cheap. something simple. i want to by a cute knee lenght dress have my dad walk me down the isle. and all that. even if its just the ceremony and we cud have like a lil party thing at our house afterwards u know?

i deno. tell me what u think please?

Cant wait for the next 30 years!

Three years ago i was sitting at the hooka bar hanging out with this guy i met like 4 months ago, and we were totally into eachother. I was bummed because i had to spend valentines day alone cause this guy had some family issues going on, and couldnt be there for me. BUT that night February 17th, 2006 i was sitting next to him, and he was looking into my eyes, and he said 'I need to be with you' I protested cause i was off to England 3 weeks later to visit family. he kept asking and wouldnt take NO for an answer FINALLY i gave in, and we started dating. He was soo romanitc. I still can remember how he told me he loved me. First it was i L you. Then it was i LO you. Then it was LOV you. And finally i remember him whispering into my ear 'i love you' and i remember not hearing him right and saying 'u know u said love right' LOL and he was like yes i know....and he was like i love you. my heart MELTED! of course i said i love you too. Later that year he was off to boot camp and he asked me to marry him. And then in december we got married!!! I'm so glad he was so determined to be with me. cause i dont know what my life would be like without him in it. i wouldnt have my handsome son. i just am so happy with my life. every day that goes by i think god i am SOOO lucky to have someone who loves me so much. and he isnt afraid to show me. he does so much for me, he works so hard so landon can be home with me. AND that is the best gift he can give to him. This guy JACOB is truely AMAZING. and sometimes i know i might not show him how much i love him and how i appreciate everything he does, and dont so thankyou enough, but i know i love him, i know i appreciate him, and i know im thankful. I miss him everyday hes gone. and i feel bad when hes SOOO stressed he doesnt know what do with himself. I wish i was out in Guam to help him out, and do his laundry, iron his uniform, or whatever else i could do to make his life THAT much easier. all the sacrifices he has made in the past 2 years, is admirable. I'm truely very very lucky. And i hate that sometimes he thinks i take that for granted. all i can say is im sorry. i respect you so much. your are my HERO. you are my life. You are my soulmate. my one true love. i cant wait to grow old with you. have more babies with you. spend forever and eternity with you.

i love you Jacob. Forever And Always!

Plans Are Changing

So, It's been alittle over a month since Jake has deployed.

Too be honest this deployment is much different than the last.

It has gone by extremely quickly. Which I am thankful for.

We've had our rollar coaster of ups and downs of course.

But thankfully we had over comed all these obstacles.

In April Landon and I we're supposed to be going to visit him in Guam.

But according to last night thats all going to change.

His sister Nicole is planning on getting married.

And if Jake can come home on leave she's going to have it in April.

I'm so happy for her. She deserves to be happy.

And Prince is amazing to her and Noah.

But I am sort of bummed because I was so excited.

So excited to see a new country, have Jake show me what he does.

Where he works. I wanted to experience it with him in a way.

But one way or another we will get to see eachother!!

And that's all that matters.

I wanted to know what he was talking about when he was explaining something.

Thinking "Oh yeah I remember seeing that" youknow?

But either way he gets to see our handsome son.

He'll be 5 months old.

And last time Jake has seen him he was just 2 months.

Lots of change!!

We are very lucky people to have the opportunity to see eachother.
Especially while he's deployed.

Last deployment he got to come home for almost 2 weeks to meet my brother.

And see my Grandad for the last time.

It's amazing.
And I'm soo happy we get to experience it again!

I love him so much and I'm so Proud of him.

And I'm still going to work out and get all cute for him.

Even though it'll proably be too cold to wear a bikini!!!

LOL- at least I won't have to worry about my tan for now!!

Valentines Gift

Jake got me the greatest Valentines gift ever! He got me some work out stuff to do at home that way i can get toned. I really really wanna look amazing for my trip to guam to see him. I've been looking into tanning salons but they are way tooo expensive to go to. So i think i'm just gonna relie on the good ole sun itself. I'm hoping i can find the time to workout. Cause my days are always so busy. Like i tried working out tonight, and found out that its too small in my room to work out, soo i'm really hoping that i can work out tomorrow while Landon is sleeping or while he's being a good boy in his swing lol. I've honestly never been SOOO excited to work out before. But i am for some reason. I think its because i remember how my body looked before i had landon. and i think that i want it back that way. I think that jake is unhappy with the way i look, with the stretch marks and all the weight i gained. again that could just be me being stupid!! But i'm totally into this work out thing. i really hope it works out for me. and i hope i can pull it off and look good in my swim suit for jake when i go to guam!!

WISH ME LUCK :)